Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes

Well, I got my first rejection notice.  I think I was pretty well prepared, and I turned around and sent the story right back out to the next magazine on my list.  Still, there’s a bit of a sting to reading a form rejection letter, and the worst part is wondering if I’m fooling myself for trying.

Don’t get me wrong.  I know I write well.  I know the pieces I’ve sent out are probably professional quality, or at least close, and with a bit more practice writing at that length I’m sure I can make even more improvement.

But!  But what if I’m deluding myself, telling myself I’m better than I am?  What if the ultimate impact of my stories are to make some poor editor slog through another piece of shit badly written short story in his or her pile and waste the time they could be spending reading decent writing.  What if I’m another poor deluded sap that things they can be a writer without having a clue?

I hate feeling like I might be fooling myself.  Even though I don’t really believe it, just the possibility feels bad.  I know, logically, that all successful writers rack up a pile of no’s before they ever get a single yes, and I believe I can be one of those people if I perservere and believe in myself and just keep telling the stories that I want to tell.

The little voice saying “Vanessa, you’re crazy/stupid/foolish/self-deluding” is just whispering a teeny bit louder, that’s all.