Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes

“Hello.” said God, “Hi. I was just wondering, how am I doing so far, do you think? How are you all faring down there at the dawn of civilization? I hope things are okay- you’d tell me if they weren’t, wouldn’t you? I’m still getting the hang of this creation stuff, so don’t be shy with your constructive criticism.”

The Bluish looked at one another, fear and confusion showing on their gentle faces. Was God commanding them to find fault with His creation? Could this be some sort of trick, like the old grow-an-apple-tree-then-forbid-anyone-from-having-any ploy? Would the first person to speak be struck by lightening? Would the whole city be swallowed into the ocean if no one answered? For a full two minutes nobody said anything. The face of God began to show a hint of irritation.

“Um…” Everyone looked to hear who had dared to answer back. The bravest man in the land, the One who dared to speak to God Himself turned out to be Achem, son of a clay pot maker.

“The rocks are a bit of a problem, actually.” said Achem.

“What?” said the Lord, inspiring His people to cower in fear (or at least edge slightly further away from Achem).

“Well, it’s just that the commandment about eating rocks every 12^th day is a bit difficult, because rocks aren’t all that nutritious and they seem to be a bit hard on people’s digestive systems as we try to pass them through, you see. A few of the Bluish have died of ruptured bowels and I have a theory that it’s the eating rocks that may have been behind it. It’s quite painful in the days immediately after, even if it doesn’t kill you.”

“You don’t find the challenge of eating rocks improves your character and reminds you to be grateful on the 11 days when you don’t have to eat them?”

“Um. Well, there’s that- absolutely. But perhaps we could eat something a bit less lethal? Something unpleasant but not actually likely to cause death, by any chance, oh great and powerful Creator?”

I wrote a section of “instructions” earlier, and then I started to wonder what kind of interactions a young God might have with his people.  so I came up with this as possibly part of the whole package and I thought I’d put it up and see if you guys liked it.