Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes

If I could accept him not coming home till 4 in the morning I can accept this.  If I could accept him calling my mother an old bitch and saying he might like to have my sister join us in bed for a bit of variety, I can accept this.  If I could accept our daughter crying because he was smelling of booze and slamming doors and scaring the heck out of all of us week after week, I can accept this.  If I could accept him telling me he’s decided he needs a gun in the house to help protect his family, I can accept this.  If I could accept our daughter begging me to leave him, I can accept this.  If I could accept his calling our daughter stupid even after she was the first in our family to be accepted into college, I can accept this.  If I could accept her telling me she wasn’t coming home to visit anymore because of him, I can accept this.

He isn’t going to kill me.  He wouldn’t dare kill me- after all I’ve put up with?  He’ll put the gun away any minute now.  He always does, he always thinks better of it, he always knows he’s done wrong and says he’s sorry.  There’s no way he’ll go through with it.  He’s like a child, really.  I just have to stay calm.  I just have to say I’m sorry and talk him down, that’s all.  He doesn’t mean anything by it.  He’s a good man, really.  I can accept this.