Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes

I had a new insight yesterday that came out of my once again giving in to an urge to binge and purge at around 9 in the evening.

I already knew why the afternoon was such a tricky time- it was because that’s when boredom is most likely to set in, I start getting antsy and thoughts of a binge seem more and more tempting.  I guess if I thought about it I always thought that the later evening binges were triggered for the same reason, or because I’d already given in in the afternoon so what the hell?

Yesterday though I noticed that the evening urge has a lot less to do with boredom or resignation and a lot more to do with the physical feeling of fullness.  Basically, I think my dinner and my post-dinner snack have been too close together and that instead of really wanting to binge when I have the urge, it’s that I really am feeling like I have too much in my belly and I want to get rid of it, and binging more is the perfect excuse to have that happen.

Today I’m going to adjust the timing of my meals and see if it helps.  If i have my afternoon snack earlier (when I’m bored and dying for something to do anyway), dinner earlier and waiting to have my evening snack until I’m not still feeling full from dinner.  I figure if I adjust the afternoon and dinner times by half an hour each it might just make the evening less perilous, and keep that evil bulimia monster away from me tonight at bedtime.