Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes

sure things could be worse.  like for instance, if i’d just drawn the short straw…

connor and derech said we had to draw straws to see who did it.  well, connor said it first.  then derech took up the idea and wouldn’t let it go and it was go along or look like a bitch, and i’m no bitch.

sally played the bitch like always but he still had to go along in the end so what was the point of acting all righteous?  for a smart guy sal oughta know when connor gets something stuck into derech’s head there’s only one way things are gonna go from there.

so we drew straws.  connor broke them up and handed them to derech and then derech offered the bundle back to connor to choose one.  sal looked at me like “did you just see that?  they’re cheating, right?”  i don’t know what it is with that guy, he can’t accept things the way they are.  of course if we draw straws connor isn’t gonna get the short one.

so derech turned to sal and sal drew a long straw and got called a bitch and a pussy for looking so relieved about it.  and that left 2 straws left and either i was going to get the short one or it was gonna be derech.  derech’s kind of a psycho, though, so i figured maybe i better try and go for the short one on purpose.  if i got it maybe i could make everyone laugh and make connor look stupid for having the idea that we were some kind of gangsters in the first place, and we could all go play assassin’s creed or something.

so i tried to figure it out, but i couldn’t, but i picked the short straw anyway.  now it’s all down to me and i just hope i’m smarter than sally or i’m gonna have to kill a guy before the night is over.