things could be worse if the eyes of my lover told me stories of failure.
She begs me with her eyes not to ask, not to say ”What’s wrong?” Once more I bite my tongue. My tongue is sore and bleeding from having been bitten one or two or ten times too many.
Her eyes tell me stories of failure, disappointment, becoming numb. Her hair is as beautiful as the day we met. Her hands are still the same hands. Only her eyes have changed. They tell me she’s so far underwater she’s forgotten she was ever meant to breathe oxygen. They beg me not to make her lie to me again. “I don’t want to lie to you, but I will.” So say her eyes. They tell me she doesn’t have a single drop left of hope and so I try to pour a glass of hope for her, with my eyes. “No thank you, I’m not thirsty,” her eyes reply.
I bite my tongue again and this time it falls off. Carefully I pick it up and wrap it and put it in the freezer for safe keeping. Who knows when I’ll find myself needing it. It’s all there in her eyes anyway. Why did I even feel the need to ask?
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This is your blog…I shouldn’t take care about it, as I don’t care about most of the short stories that are being posted here…but, BUT my mind just sticks with your sentences, one after another…I can un-stick myself…
this is a personal experience like mine is (that you BY ACCIDENT hit in the head), or you smoking weed and trippin’ around?
delete this comment sometime later…please
Comment by technogenesis March 22, 2008 @ 1:49 pmSo….Vanessa….what are you going to DO with this gift. eh?
Comment by Mrs. B March 22, 2008 @ 2:20 pmwell i was thinking i’d just let it go to waste, but i suppose i’m open to other possibilities.
little baby steps. the first i think would be to attempt something longer and more finished based off of one of the mini stories.
Comment by vive42 March 22, 2008 @ 4:20 pmBaby steps are ALWAYS a good thing.
Comment by Mrs. B March 22, 2008 @ 9:42 pmSo powerfully written! So sad! Maybe there is something else behind the eyes of grief.
Comment by Che March 23, 2008 @ 2:39 amYour creativity is vast. Please keep writting.
gave me chills…
Comment by kelly March 23, 2008 @ 3:07 amerrata at my first comment
instead
“I can un-stick myself…”
it should be
“I can’t un-stick myself…”
Peace—
Comment by technogenesis March 23, 2008 @ 2:15 pmthis fresh short story doesn’t hit me so hard as this one…Must say that…
thanks everyone for the positive feedback
technogenesis, i understood your meaning. typos happen to us all. i do think this story was special- i kinda like the new one, but they can’t all be on this one’s level. in answer to the question i think you were asking in your first question, yes, this is based to some extent on personal experience. but when i was in the situation i was the drowning girl, not the one who had to look on and bite their tongue.
Comment by vive42 March 23, 2008 @ 2:51 pmReading my comment to you above, I wonder if I was clear about what I meant about maybe there is something beyond or deeper behind the eyes of grief and hopelessness. Only you know what that might be.
Comment by Che March 24, 2008 @ 3:52 amI may be all wet, as they say. I wonder if the pain would feel a little less if the goal was to honor and appreciate yourself no matter that you have an eating disorder. I really may be way out of reality, but I wonder if it would hurt less, if you went with the flow for a few days, speaking the truth numerous times each day that you, Vive, are more than your disorder.
Yeah, I cut my tongue into pieces for some time already…continuously…Soon I will have to use nano-probes to get him down into smaller pieces…
Hope that’ll be possible…
Cheers…Incredible stuff…
Comment by technogenesis March 26, 2008 @ 12:36 am