Filed under: anorexia, bulimia, eating disorder recovery, eating disorders, overeaters anonymous, pro-ana, proana | Tags: anorexia, bulimia, eating disorder recovery, eating disorders, overeaters anonymous, pro-ana, proana
remember what i wrote about whiplash? you really have to take everything i say lately about my ed with a grain of salt. going back to OA these past 2 weeks has put my head all in a tizzy i guess.
right this second, i’m leaning towards making a big change in the positive direction. but don’t start applauding yet! we’ve seen how quickly i can change 180 degrees, and it may very well happen again before tomorrow morning.
but, just this second, i feel like i need to put away the scale, grow up, start eating 3 meals a day, and get back into recovery in a sincere way. i sort of hate the idea but i keep having those “god moments” where everything in the universe seems to be trying to force me in that direction. so even though i have a lot of reservations (of course) i’m considering just going with it. i mean, let’s be honest. deep down i’ve been wanting this for a long time. why prolong the agony when ultimately it’s leading towards recovery anyway?
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Sounds good to me. Sounds like your wise heart talking. By the way, I am not sure what the picture on your web site is suppose to mean, but I am going to interpret it as a a healthy and getting happier you destroying your ED for good.
Comment by anne March 5, 2008 @ 1:44 amLMAO. anne i am really starting to like you. whatever that picture means (and i’m not sure myself) it may be replaced if this healthy attitude sticks around for a while, you can count on that.
Comment by vive42 March 5, 2008 @ 2:01 amAnne,
That picture used to disturb me. Now I shall embrace it. Thanks for that!
Vanessa,
Comment by Mrs. B March 5, 2008 @ 2:30 amI will be guardedly optimistic. You really are awesome and you deserve the opportunity for life. You have a lot to give and a lot of compassion and ED has been depriving us all of that.
I have only brothers, and find myself often acting and feeling like one of them. Horseplay is what I know, I bawl and boast, and dash about, but in front of incomprehensible feminine courage I shrunk and feel ashamed. Men advance believing in jubilant victory, but women advance despite the possible hurt and loss.
Comment by valid-i March 5, 2008 @ 5:07 amThat’s bravery.
Thank goodness. I’d wondered what had happened to your brain!
Comment by Josie March 5, 2008 @ 3:51 pmhahaha. my poor little brain! it’s been through a lot lately and if i’m really going to do this thing then it’s only going to get worse i’m afraid.
Comment by vive42 March 5, 2008 @ 4:18 pm